Monday, October 5, 2009

Limping Along...

I'm so seriously trying to maintain an 'attitude of gratitude'. I'd be getting a failing grade at present, me fears.

I have this little (unbeknownst to me up till most recently) issue with an under-active thyroid. hmmm... not a big deal I'm told and on a positive note I have really, really good cholesterol... my doctor kept stressing the words REALLY GOOD... so the bad stuff which would have concerned him was otherwise not a concern. Thankful!

I (we... me and hubs) are debt free, mortgage free! Like - HELLO! Really thankful!

I work... part-time from home and another little job as a caregiver to a couple school-age kids. All timing of 'things' worked together for good... for me.... so far. Hubs was forced into early retirement... so monthly pension but not exactly great compensation for what he's been through... long story but we're thankful. VERY thankful!

Another pending job on the shelf... fingers crossed cause this would be the BEST thing for me and I have the skills to fulfill this job and from home (oh joy!)... hopefully overwhelmingly thankful!

The limp in my gait comes from an existing, very debilitating 'job' that I've been enduring due to my complicated work/living situation. No details to explain regarding my 'job''s so old and so worn and so negative that I'll not get into the nitty-gritty. I'm undervalued, under appreciated and under paid not to mention over-qualified. I endure a huge amount of verbal, manipulative abuse, so much so that it's almost comical, yet I fail at not allowing the 'offender' to have the last word. This is my failing... my downfall. I am at a loss and horribly guilty of losing at the fine art of 'shut up'.

I am making a public vow (even if only ONE person reads this) to NOT respond to the snarky, snide and negative comments that come from nowhere and end up in some crazy, uncontrolled kind of pissing match that hits me like a 'bitch-slap'. I'm really at wit's end because my most sincere attempts to smooth over the misconceptions have been met with hostility and all done via gmail. ....sigh. I'm so done.

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